Edit: I just got a call from the program through the drug company today. Actually, I got two--one verifying my insurance info and one telling me my benefit eligibility. The medicine is more expensive than I thought--twice as much. It's over $3500 month, which leaves me 20% portion being over $700/month. But because I have POS (point of sale, allegedly...more like piece of shit) prescription coverage, I have to pay the WHOLE amount up front and wait to be reimbursed. I don't have $3500 laying around anywhere--not even on a credit card. And even if I did, I cannot afford $700 month for medicine. Who can afford that? I wish I knew what I knew now when choosing insurance. And when it comes time to switch, I can't switch because all of this would be uncovered as a pre-existing condition. Ridiculous! It's such a trap.

I received a large envelope in the mail from my doctor's office, containing information about Rebif, the medicine I will be trying. I also received a call from the MS Lifelines department--the section of the drug company that works at getting people medication. Anyway, I have just looked through the information, and a new sense of reality has set in.

One thing that strikes me is the following quote: "None of the ABCR agents (the disease-modifying drugs) will make you feel better or return abilities that you once had. You will not feel it working. You take an immunomodulator in hopes of having fewer/milder flare-ups in order to try and delay the progression of the disease. The ABCR agents do not stop flare-ups." Sure, slower progression is great. But will I be able to feel my legs fully? Or my abdomen fully? Will I get to play tennis? Or will I get to wear sandals. I know these things sound so minor, but still.

But they did send me a pen and a little messenger bag in the mail. So, it is all worth it. ha!