Today, for one of the first times, I felt "handicapped." Because of the hot weather (high 90s with heat index of 107), I decided to drive work/school. I haven't lived through a summer with MS (or knowing I had MS, at least), and I want to be cautious as to not let it get the best of me. I planned on parking in the pay lot since I had to work and had class. Well, there is a summer session going on, and the pay lot was full. So, I was stuck with 2-hour parking. That is fine if I am at work and can move my car. However, I had to skip French. I live 6 blocks from school/work, and I try to take advantage of my mobility while it's here. But in the heat, I thought it would be best to drive.
If I had a handicapped tag, I could have parked. But really, I don't feel handicapped. For the most part, I feel good. On one hand, it is my MS causing me to be cautious of heat exposure. Yet, I feel there are people who are much more in need of handicapped parking. I was just so frustrated because I kind of felt like my MS made me miss out on something I need to do (i.e., go to French class, since I don't understand it at all!) Ugh.
Today, my left hand feels a bit tingly--nothing major, but just a smidge. Also, I have had this strange tingly/squeezing feeling in my head--a feeling I get with headaches. But today, there is no headache, just that strange feeling. And whenever I sit in this chair and get up, I feel stiff, as if I am 80 years old. I don't know why I am making a laundry list of these things--perhaps just to document it so I can go back later and see, "Yes, I was having ___ at that time."
Well, I should get to bed. I have to give myself a shot before I go. Lucky me! (*sarcasm*)
If I had a handicapped tag, I could have parked. But really, I don't feel handicapped. For the most part, I feel good. On one hand, it is my MS causing me to be cautious of heat exposure. Yet, I feel there are people who are much more in need of handicapped parking. I was just so frustrated because I kind of felt like my MS made me miss out on something I need to do (i.e., go to French class, since I don't understand it at all!) Ugh.
Today, my left hand feels a bit tingly--nothing major, but just a smidge. Also, I have had this strange tingly/squeezing feeling in my head--a feeling I get with headaches. But today, there is no headache, just that strange feeling. And whenever I sit in this chair and get up, I feel stiff, as if I am 80 years old. I don't know why I am making a laundry list of these things--perhaps just to document it so I can go back later and see, "Yes, I was having ___ at that time."
Well, I should get to bed. I have to give myself a shot before I go. Lucky me! (*sarcasm*)
posted by Heather @ 8:29 PM
3 Comments:
At 6:01 AM,
Iain Dughlais said…
Hang in there. You''re only handicaped if if you let yourself believe you are. I have handicaped plates for my MS and yesterday I was promoted to Brown belt in Judo. I know there is going to be days when I just can't walk as far, so I have the plates. But if I feel like walking 3 miles to the mall or all the way across campus for class, I do. I don't feel hanicaped, just some days I need a little break and a shorter distance to walk is very welcomed.
Good luck with the heat.
At 8:23 AM,
mdmhvonpa said…
Heh ... you don't FEEL handicapped until you FEEL it. I know that old saw all to well. I cannot tell you how much crap I've gotten over the years for either parking in a handicapped spot and not looking crippled enough of for NOT parking there and using up the close spots left for everyone else. Although, you tend to get a bit more lee-way when you have a plate than a 'blue card'.
At 10:48 AM,
Jaime said…
I too know that feeling. This is one of the frustrating aspects of this illness...not everyone can look at you and "see" exactly what is going on. I personally have a disabled placard and like Doug, I use it when I need it. When I am having a good day I don't use it. On my bad days, I still look for a spot close by or next to the disabled spot...I would prefer a little ol' lady in a wheelchair to use the spot, but if there aren't any and I am weak, wobbly, or in a lot of pain and need to go somewhere....I will use it. That is what it is for. It may be something for you to talk to your doctor about. With this illness you just never know and with the heat symptoms can hit at anytime, even when you are driving! Life can't be put completely on hold because of the weather and so these things are put in place to help out. The cold weather isn't much fun either..so it may be something to think about.
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