The BS of my MS

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis April 11, 2006. It was a fairly quick diagnosis and there are days/weeks I can mostly ignore it. For those days I can't, this blog documents my journey.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Well, I have given myself one shot by myself--two in total. The one with the nurse, as I said, wasn't bad. The one I gave by myself was less-than-comfortable. It wasn't horrible, but I think I was holding back, as I had a smidge trouble getting the needle to go in my leg. And I forgot to let go--to stop pinching. I have a little red spot known as a "site reaction" that is pretty common. It doesn't hurt. It's just pink.

I am totally freaked out by the biohazard symbol. Maybe it's from going to hospitals a lot as a child, as my father was in and out of hospitals. There is something about them that totally freaks me out, and I hate when they put chairs underneath them in hospital rooms. I always move the chair. Well now, I have to have a little container like that to put my needles in. It has one of the spooky symbols that looks evil. Ugh. As if stabbing myself with a needle is not anxiety-inducing enough, I then get to have one of my top fears all around me. Ugh. Seriously, this may sound dramatic, but I have never ever liked biohazard symbols. So, I am convinced this is some cruel joke from God.

My hands are still numb--kind of tingly. I can use them just fine, but I don't have full sensation in them. Other than that, I am doing well...walking well, standing well, etc.

People remark about how well I am doing with this emotionally. My therapist seems to think I am internalizing the emotional piece of it all. My friend thinks I am, too. But really, other than those first couple of days, I have been doing fine. I am kind of too busy to sit and dwell on it. And lots of people have MS, and lots of people do just fine with it. Part of me wonders if I should be more worried or concerned than I am. Should I be? I don't know. But for me, it is just about taking the medicine and hoping for the best. What else is there to feel?

2 Comments:

  • At 11:33 PM, Anonymous Virginia said…

    About the biohazard symbol... any chance you could work with it, come up with some fun or just nicer meanings for it? Have a contest to see who can come up with the best symbolism?

     
  • At 11:30 PM, Blogger Jaime said…

    Every person deals with being diagnosis with an illness such as MS differently. As long as you take things one day at a time and don't have any expectations...you should be just fine! Live your life, try to remain as positive as you can, and work with your doctors. Always remember that you may have MS but it does not have you. That is the key to this whole thing!

    One of these days it may "sink in" more or become more difficult, but hopefully that won't be for a long time! :) Just remember there are things you CAN do to help control the illness....diet, exercise, medications, sleep, and reduce stress. The rest just kind of has to be left in the hands of God! :)

    When I was first diagnosed (in 2004) I continued to work and go to school...just lived my life and things went pretty good. For me I was able to maintain things as normal until I had a couple bad flares over the last year. That is when I had to slow down. For me, I think I pushed myself too hard trying to prepare for my future and do everything I could (because of this latest diagnosis).

    Whatever you do, make sure to always get lots of time to relax! Stress is not good for MS and in my experience it seems to only make the symptoms (and sometimes flares) present themself.

    I wish you the best. Please take care.

    Jaime

     

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