Yesterday, I got sick. I'll spare you the details (though if you are really curious, visit the link in my sidebar to "my other blog". Let's just say, I am going to carry bags in the car from now on, in case I suddenly get nauseous. My mom reminded me of my last bout with throwing up back in March. It was right in the middle of my first major flare up--I was dizzy and got sick several times within a few hours. Later came the stiffness and serious lack of balance, that has sense passed. Could there be a link between these two episodes and my MS? Or is it just a fluke? It's interesting that now, if anything happens, people automatically ask if it could be my MS. On one hand, it makes sense. MS symptoms span a great deal of things. On the other hand, it's possible that I will still be sick sometimes, completely unrelated to MS. Who knows?

I was thinking yesterday how thankful I am to have insurance. I am glad I am a student that is required to have insurance, because it is quite possible that I would not have been insured during this time--you know, to save money. I am thankful that when I was diagnosed that I had insurance. Granted, I have a $1000 deductible, easily met with an MRI. Yet, the "negotiated rates" that insurance companies and doctors office agree upon are a life saver. I have saved so much money on that, alone. It makes me not be able to imagine what it's like for people without insurance, who have to pay the high face-value sticker price of treatments and medical services.

One thing MS has done to me is it is made me increasingly wary of the whole healthcare system. On one hand, I have been very blessed by some forms of assistance to help get my meds and help with medical bills. However, it's weird to me that healthcare is an industry--it's a capitalistic venture. Prices are negotiated. Doctors tend to prescribe medicines from a drug company who gives them incentives and gifts. Drug companies are trying to come out with new medicines, not because they help people who need them, but because there is money in it. That was a startling reality my MS nurse shared with me--the first company to find a pill that works for MS will jump on it--if only for the money alone. I know that's life, but part of me thinks it's a sick reality too. When for some people things are matters of life and death, mobility or immobility, being free or being confined--why is money the factor? Ugh. I am so jaded by capitalism.