The BS of my MS

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis April 11, 2006. It was a fairly quick diagnosis and there are days/weeks I can mostly ignore it. For those days I can't, this blog documents my journey.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

I am exhausted. And it's one of those cases where I am too tired to really do anything, but that makes me feel blue, because it makes me bored. I am not happy just sitting on the couch watching movies. I wish I could have people come over, keep my company, play games, etc., without me having to go anywhere to entertain myself. It's a picky request, I guess, but a girl can dream.

I was drying my hair, and my arms felt too tired and too weak to raise up to my head. My hands were too numb and weak to hold the round brush. I did it, though I did not do it well. It took everything I had. Something that simple should not be so difficult.

I think this is one way MS can lead to depression. First of all, MS is three times more likely in people *before* diagnosis. So, there is something going on up in the old brain that makes it more prevalent. Then, being too tired to do anything and feeling utterly drained--it takes a toll emotionally. And so I whine.

I really don't capture the "day to day" of life with MS, because on those days, it's just life. Nothing is different (except these days, I will have a shot as a reminder that yes--I still do have "it.") But these days, it feels all-too-consuming. Not feeling my hands or feeling like they are burned/blistered/lacking feeling is a pain in the butt. Feeling dizzy for whatever reason cramps my style. Having my legs feel shaky takes even more energy to do basic things. So, I know I don't write of the day to day stuff because I can live in oblivion at that point. Then, MS comes and kicks me in the ass; it makes it easy to go into pity party mode. For that, I apologize.

We're headed out for a bit--maybe run to Hobby Lobby, get a redbox movie, etc. We'll see how I am feeling once I accomplish all of that.


  • At 11:55 AM, Blogger JENNY said…

    I totally know what you mean. I feel the same way alot of the time. Don't feel like you are alone! I am very sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel. I hope you feel better soon!

  • At 8:35 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    Thanks. It's getting better, so it seems. We'll see...


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