I am facing a difficult decision. Previously, I was on Copaxone. I was on it for about 5 months. I started having some new symptoms on the other side of my body, which made me think something in a new area of my brain was going on. So, I went to the neurologist and an MRI confirmed that, yes, in fact there were new lesions and new activity going on in my brain. The neuro determined Copaxone was not doing anything for me and had me stop it. (Gladly, by the way, because I hated it with a passion!)

He also recommended I go back on Tysabri, as that was the only thing that seemed to work in terms of MS medications. I had been on it for almost 2 years and went off of it about a year ago, in hopes to start a family. Life circumstances changed, a baby was not in the immediate future, doctor didn't feel comfortable with Tysabri anymore, and had me go on Copaxone. His words were, "I am not convinced with Tysabri, but for some reason it worked for you. So that seems like the best option."

I agree, in many ways. For almost 2 years, I had no new activity in my brain--no new lesions. I seriously pretended like I didn't have MS except for the monthly 2-hour infusion I had to endure. Otherwise, there was no reminder.

However, now I am having some questions and doubts about going back on it. There are risks, namely progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy, which is a rare brain infection in folks with compromised immune systems. It can cause mental retardation and even death. There have only been 31 cases of PML since the drug was reintroduced on the market in July, 2006. Eight people have died. And while that is a small number, relatively, there is no indication that these people were "at risk" in any way. It's just random. As a result, the FDA has issued an alert.

Second of all, I am not ready to get sick all the dang freaking time. Previously, I had a severe sinus infection, upper respiratory infection, bronchitis, etc. I caught *everything*. That's a set back, and while it's not deadly, it still is less-than-welcomed.

Thirdly, I do want a baby in the next couple of years. I am trying to finish my dissertation and then we'll see where we are. However, because of the relative newness of Tysabri on the market, there is little research about how Tysabri affects fertility, babies, etc. once a woman goes off of it. It's class C, meaning it affects babies in-utero. But what are the effects afterward? I don't know if I want to chance it.

I am pretty young; only 30 years old. So, I have a lot of time to live with MS, and I don't want it getting worse or increase its activity or cause disability in me. However, I also have a life to live and I don't want the MS medication to take away from that.

There is so much to think about.