A few quick blurbs:

• My headache finally went away. I think it was Thursday or Friday? And my fever doesn't seem as big of a deal. I think not having a headache helps. So, I am feeling better and not as sick. I am very tired, but I'll take that over a headache any day.
• On Monday, we will be moving to a lower apartment. Right now we live on the 4th floor of a walk up building (no elevator). Since I am feeling good, this hasn't been a big challenge, recently. But during my worst flare up, it was a challenge to go up and down the stairs. This is sort of a precautionary/pre-emptive move. I don't know the course my symptoms will take in the next few years, and when I can barely walk isn't the time to pack/move. As of Monday, we will live on the second floor.
• It's good to realize that things have gotten better from when I was at my worst. Most noticeably is that I can stand with my feet together and my eyes closed and maintain my balance, for the most part. Before, I would fall over immediately, so that's good news. Another thing is this--when I was at the doctor, during the diagnosis process, he had me sit on the floor and try to get up, without holding onto anything. I couldn't do it. I had trouble, even holding onto the examination table. Today, I was packing some books, while sitting in the middle of the floor. I had no problem getting up. It's good to see how far I have come.

Ugh. I feel like crap. I celebrated the end of my headache too soon. I have had a headache for about 3 1/2 days, minus about 10 hours or so. My eyeballs hurt from this headache, too. My shoulders are achy, and I have around a 99.3 fever, which is higher than usual. Perhaps these are the "flu like symptoms" I thought I was being lucky enough to avoid. I just can't seem to shake the headache, and when I get a headache, I am cranky. My poor husband!

In response to Jamie's comment about picking either tylenol or ibuprofen...I checked on this. It's okay to mix, precisely because they are different. It allows for more pain relief, without overdoing one. However, at this stage, neither ibuprofen or tylenol are helping my headache.

Sorry for the whiny post.

Woot! My headache finally went away after three blasted days, and for that, I am thankful.

So, I am up to the full 44 mcg of Rebif. I gave my first "full" injection on Friday, and I was kind of nervous about additional side effects I may have, i.e., worse flu-like symptoms. But I took 2 tylenol with it (I had only been taking one, then some ibuprofen the next morning, if needed), and I really felt okay. Today I do have a headache, which I always wonder if it is MS, because I feel like it's in my brain--like my brain is squeezing or something. It's really hard to explain, and how I do explain it may not be accurate.

Tonight, my husband and I were joking around. I said, "I should make an MS mix CD, and on it, would be Boy George's song 'I Tumble for You.'" I was laughing so hard, I could hardly make it up the stairs. Really, I thought it was funny.

I'm doing really well. My emotions have been weird lately, though that may just be "life." I have been tired--enjoying my sleep more than ever, but that is to be expected for anyone when it is so hot outside. The heat takes a lot out of you.

A couple people have been reading this lately, and for that, thanks! While I ultimately write for myself, it's nice to know that it's not all in vain. I may not be super faithful with my updates, but keep checking back.

Tonight I went to a seminar on MS and the treatments that are coming in the future. On one hand, I thought it might be helpful to see the other faces of MS. That is, until I saw them. There were lots of people in wheelchairs and on scooters. The lady next to us had trouble talking and could barely pick up a spoon. Hopefully these people are that "bad" because they are the earlier faces--they went years without treatment. But I don't know for sure. There are lots of possibilities for the future--oral meds, a vaccine that tricks your body to thinking you don't have MS, etc. It was interesting.

I asked the doctor about a couple of things. One, I asked him if it was okay that I never had a spinal tap. Some people try to question my diagnosis because I haven't had one, but my MRI and symptoms were conclusive. The doctor at the seminar said that was perfectly acceptable. Also, today I received an email from a classmate about aspartame poisoning. The email was in Spanish, but I was able to understand it--plus I did a google search. However, there is no evidence suggesting there is a link or even a false association between MS and aspartame. The doctor confirmed this.

I get so tired of people who want to second guess this thing. It's one thing to be gullible, but it's another thing to be informed and trust the doctors who specialize in treating MS. For me, a constant stage of second guessing just leaves me in-between--never fully accepting or claiming this as my own. For me, I just want to move forward.

It's weird to hear MS called "a chronic debilitating disease." I have never thought of it like that; I don't want to think of it like that.

One interesting fact I heard tonight: Depression is three times more common in people with MS, even before they are ever diagnosed. Perhaps my bout with depression in January of 2005 was symptomatic of MS?