The BS of my MS

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis April 11, 2006. It was a fairly quick diagnosis and there are days/weeks I can mostly ignore it. For those days I can't, this blog documents my journey.

Friday, November 10, 2006

I spent the night in the ER. I was puking and had other stomach issues that shall remain nameless. I also had a fever of almost 102. I was reluctant to go, but the doctor on call suggested it, in fear of dehydration. They gave me 3 bags of IV saline and some medicine to stop vomiting. Unfortunately, the other stomach issues just have to run their course. My white count was high, which means my body is trying to ward off something. The ER doctor asked me if I was feeling any better and if I wanted to be admitted. However, I just didn't think that was necessary. In retrospect, it would be nice to have someone jus take care of me. But hospitals are expensive and that bed could have gone to someone else.

I went to the doctor today for a suggested follow up appointment. I called my advisor to take me, which she gladly did. I felt so bad asking her though as I hate being needy. But I didn't have any cash on me to hop on the train. (We need to keep a 5 in the cabinet for emergency cash situations) The appointment was pointless. Basically, he told me that I just need to stay hydrated and reincorporate mild, solid foods. I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. I have been drinking gatorade, and I have to sip it slowly. But I am SO thirsty--I just want to guzzle it. But I know my stomach probably wouldn't like that.

Being a grown up sucks. When you are a child, your mom takes care of you and babies you when you are sick. She throws out the bag of barf. She would wait with you at the hospital. As an adult--it's all up to you. Brad is at work, so I have been on my own today. I bagged up the barf, putting it on the back porch in a giant bag. I don't think I can talk Brad into taking it out to the dumpster. Brad came back home to sleep while I was at the ER, so he could make it to work today. Though, honestly, that was probably better. I am not sure there was an extra chair in my room, and no TV either. I thought I would be there for two or three hours, rather than six. Still, even though I am a 27-year-old adult, I miss the days of mom.

So, now I am home, and just having to wait for it all to pass. Which I am thankful I am okay, but I hate just having to wait in that icky "trying to get better" phase.

Yes. I am a whiner.

Monday, November 06, 2006

There are days I can hardly bring myself to give myself my Rebif shot. Seriously, anymore it seems like such a chore. At first, I kind of looked forward to it, simply because it felt like I was taking control. It was the only thing I could do. Now, it just seems tiresome. And I am tired of all the red blotches on my tummy and legs. Lately, they have been itchy, too, which is new for me.

I have been having lots of headaches lately. They make me just need to lay down and shut my eyes. Last week, one made me barf. My doctor gave me Imitrex. I wasn't sure if that was good, since I am also on Effexor. My psychiatrist said to be cautious. My neuro said he felt comfortable with it. I know the risks, but frankly, I am so desperate sometimes for something to make the pain stop. In telling me the symptoms of Serotonin Syndrome, my psych told me that change in body temperature and muscle stiffness were signs. I told him that muscle stiffness is common with MS. He agreed, stressing that i need to be ever-more-cautious.

The numbness in my arm is mostly gone now, thankfully. I am still having some balance issues. Ultimately, I am tired. Now, I am not sluggish and tired during the day, but I do sleep A LOT at night. Today, I slept until 11:15. Last week, I slept past 10 on most days. Is it fatigue? Am I just lazy? I don't know. But I am using the philosophy that if I am able to sleep that long, then my body must need it. *shrug*

Well, I am off to bed. I can't sleep late tomorrow, because I have to work in the mornin'. Fun times.